


Left My Heart In Riverdale

by youwishpreppy



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-28 09:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15045971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youwishpreppy/pseuds/youwishpreppy
Summary: Joaquin's world falls apart when he has to flee Riverdale, leaving behind his family and most of all Kevin. Months later he returns, hoping that he'll get a second chance to make things right, only to find that Kevin has moved on. Can Joaquin do the same by starting over again in San Junipero? But how is he supposed to do that, when his heart is still in Riverdale?





	Left My Heart In Riverdale

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU telling Joaquin's story during the events of season 2 of Riverdale. In this story, the Serpents don't have to leave the trailer park at the end of season 2. This is my second Joavin fanfic. I started writing it after watching the finale because I was in a really bad mood after seeing the lack of Joavin and I needed to write that down. I found the story again last week and decided to edit it and write a new ending. I hope you like it! Please let me know, what you think!

Joaquin sits on the bus to San Junipero, gazing out of the window, but not really seeing anything. His mind and his heart are still in Riverdale, still with Kevin. And so he just stares into space, crying his eyes out on the whole drive.

He arrives in San Junipero, not caring about where he is or what kind of town this is. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters any longer. He messed up, and he knows it. He lost his hopeful light, the one person who had looked at him as if Joaquin was worth looking at. As if there was some good in him. And then Joaquin had to go and ruin everything with his lies and his betrayal. He regrets it like he never regretted anything before in his life.

Just for once he thought he could be happy. He just wanted to have this one thing, be with this sweet boy, who honestly liked him. And Joaquin liked Kevin back just as much, or maybe even more.

He pulls out his phone and types a message with shaky hands: _"I arrived safely. I am so sorry about everything. Miss you, Preppy."_ and he doesn't really expect Kevin to answer, but is still heartbroken when he never gets a reply.

Joaquin moves into some shady motel, hiding away for days, just lying in the dark and thinking about Kevin. After a week he finally manages to get outside and buy some things and look for work. He tries to tell himself that he'll be ok, but he is all alone and feels so broken. The nights are the worst because he can't stop his mind from conjuring up thoughts about everything he had with Kevin.

He decides to call Fangs, the only friend he has, with whom he can be his true self. He spends hours on the phone with him, thankful for the distraction. Fangs understands and feels bad for his friend, that's why he tells Joaquin that it's ok if they talk every night and so they do. They even watch tv shows together, while on the phone, anything to keep Joaquin from thinking about what he has lost.

Then one day Fangs tells Joaquin that he is going to Riverdale High now and that today has been his first day at the new school. And before he can stop himself, Joaquin asks: "Did you meet Kevin? How is he?"

And Fangs tells him everything he knows about Kevin. From that day on Joaquin asks ever night about Kevin: "What is he doing? What did he wear today? Is he ok?"

Maybe it makes things worse, but Joaquin doesn't care. He knows that he'll never get over Kevin anyways. He was the best thing that ever happened to Joaquin.

It's breaking Fangs' heart to hear Joaquin ask about Kevin all the time, and how sad he sounds while doing so. Fangs decides to befriend Kevin and to look out for him for Joaquin.

Several weeks later FP calls Joaquin and tells him, that it's safe to return to Riverdale. But Joaquin decides to stay in San Junipero because he thinks it's not fair towards Kevin if he comes back. He wants Kevin to be happy and thinks Kevin is better off without him. But part of him dies a little, imagining Kevin moving on and finding someone new.

Fangs tells Joaquin all about the musical Kevin is directing. Joaquin is so proud of Kevin, and he wishes so much to be able to see the musical. Fangs even sends him a picture of him and Kevin, and Joaquin can't stop looking at it. Kevin seems to be happy, and it soothes Joaquin's pain a bit, knowing that Kevin is doing ok and that it was probably the right decision for Joaquin to stay away from Riverdale.

Joaquin can't wait for his phone to ring, because he wants to hear everything about Kevin's musical. Fangs promised to call him immediately when he got home.

But when Fangs calls him, instead of sharing details about how wonderful the musical was, he tells Joaquin that something terrible happened. A girl was killed during the show. Joaquin is shocked, and fear grips his heart. Fear for Kevin and for his friends. He hates it that he is so far away.

The next time, Joaquin talks to Fangs, things are even worse. Fangs is suspected of being the murderer of that girl, who was killed during the musical. He is fucking scared and cries all the time during their phone call. Joaquin doesn't know what to say to help his friend. He wishes to do something, but he feels so useless.

Fangs doesn't call again. Joaquin is worried sick. A thousand thoughts race through his mind: _"What happened? Did they really arrest Fangs? Is there someone, who can help him? What is going on in Riverdale? Is Kevin ok? Please let him be alright!"_

FP calls Joaquin, telling him that Fangs indeed got arrested but will soon get out again, and FP needs Joaquin to come back to Riverdale immediately so he can sneak Fangs out of town. Joaquin agrees. He quickly packs a bag and catches the next bus that takes him back to this small town, that once was his home.

He spends the whole drive, thinking about Kevin. Will he meet him again? Maybe catch a glimpse of him? Or even talk to him? Joaquin knows it's stupid, but he fantasizes about him and Kevin getting back together again. Maybe Joaquin can sneak Fangs out of town and then return to Riverdale for good? Start over again with Kevin... _"I need to stop this!"_ he thinks, but there's this little glimmer of hope that simply won't go away.

Joaquin arrives back in Riverdale, hoping against hope that everything will work out. But of course, it doesn't. Fangs gets shot. Joaquin stays with him in the hospital, sitting at his bed, holding Fangs' hand and talking to him all the time, begging him to stay alive. When Fangs opens his eyes, Joaquin is so grateful, that his friend made it, but at the same time worried out of his mind, because the whole situation looks really bad for the Serpents right now.

Once Fangs is allowed to leave the hospital, the biggest fight is over. The Serpents have lost the Whyte Wyrm, but they were able to keep Sunnyside Trailer Park. Joaquin moves back into his old little trailer. It's comforting to be back in this familiar space.

Joaquin thinks that maybe he can really stay in Riverdale. It feels good to have his friends, his family, the Serpents back. And his mind won't shut up: _"And maybe you can see Kevin again and ask him for a second chance."_

It's only a few days later when Joaquin really meets Kevin. He is on his way to meet Fangs when he almost runs into Kevin in front of Riverdale High School. They both stop in their tracks and stare at each other.

"Joaquin? You... you are back?" Kevin stutters, and Joaquin feels his knees go weak, just from being near Kevin again and hearing his voice.

He can't help but smile at the other boy. "Yes. How are you, Kevin?"

Kevin seems so baffled to see him. _"Is that a good sign? Does he still care about me?"_

Joaquin is so nervous all of a sudden but also hopeful. Maybe everything that happened before happened for a reason. It brought him back to Kevin and now they can...his thoughts are interrupted by the door behind Kevin opening, and Moose walking out. He stops next to Kevin, putting an arm around Kevin's shoulders and Joaquin notices how Kevin seems to melt into that small embrace. Joaquin's heart breaks into a million pieces all over again.

 _"Be careful what you wish for."_ he thinks. Isn't this what he wanted for Kevin? To get over Joaquin, to find someone else, who can make him happy? But it hurts so much to witness it.

Joaquin backs away. It doesn't seem right to be here. But before he can leave, Kevin calls out to him: "Joaquin, I..."

And Joaquin decides that he can't just run away and he addresses Kevin once again: "Can we talk, please? Whenever you have time."

Kevin nods, while Moose glares at Joaquin, tightening his grip on Kevin. A thought occurs to Joaquin: "Do you still have my number?"

Kevin grimaces and shakes his head. Well, it figures, Joaquin thinks. But he just says: "Ok no problem, I still have yours. I'll just text you ok?"

"Ok."

Joaquin feels so weird when he walks away, his mind reeling and his heart so heavy.

Later on, when he is in his trailer, he breaks down. Why did he think it was a good idea to stay here? How could he be so stupid to think Kevin was waiting for him? He doesn't deserve Kevin, he is just trash, and Kevin is that perfect preppy boy.

He is interrupted by a knock, he opens the door warily, wiping at his eyes. It's Fangs. Oh god, Joaquin was so out of it, he totally forgot to pick up his friend.

"Fangs, I am so sorry! I forgot, I..."

Fangs just looks at him, seeing the tears and he backs Joaquin into the trailer, closing the door behind them. "What happened?"

Joaquin knows there's no denying it, so he tells Fangs how he ran into Kevin and Moose, biting his lip to keep from crying.

But Fangs just pulls him into a tight hug and tells him: "Hey it's ok Joaquin, I understand. You can cry you know? It's just me, no one else will know." and he holds Joaquin, while he is crying silently into Fangs' shoulder.

Joaquin packs his bag once again. He will go back to the sorry excuse of a new life he has in San Junipero. It's better than staying here and have the feeling that he is just in Kevin's way. He never texts Kevin, feeling like he has no right to.

Joaquin walks over to FP's trailer, just wanting to say goodbye. But FP won't let him even finish. He tells Joaquin that there is no way that he can just leave again. They need every Serpent here, and Joaquin is one of the people, who FP trusts the most. He orders Joaquin to stay. Joaquin is practically begging FP to let him go, but he won't hear any of it.

So Joaquin goes back to his trailer and unpacks again. He plans to stay far away from the Northside of town. Maybe it will be ok? He won't have to see Kevin.

A week later he has settled back into the Serpent life in the trailer park. He meets with Fangs and Sweet Pea and Toni, and it's actually pretty nice to not be alone anymore. Maybe things will be alright.

On this evening FP calls Joaquin over to his trailer. He announces that Joaquin should go back to school to graduate. Joaquin says that he will not do that. He can find work, he doesn't need to go to school. What he doesn't tell FP is, that he doesn't want to go to Riverdale High, when Kevin is there.

But FP is adamant. He tells Joaquin that he sees something more for Joaquin than this typical trailer trash life.

"You are a smart kid, I won't let you waste your potential like that. Look at me! Don't make the same mistakes I did!"

"But I don't want to go to Riverdale High, I can't go there!"

That's when FP seems to understand. "Is that because of that Keller kid? Really Joaquin?"

And just like the last time Joaquin tried to explain to FP, how much Kevin means to him, FP just laughs at him and tells Joaquin that he will hear nothing of this and that Joaquin better moves his ass to Riverdale High, if he doesn't want to get into trouble.

Another week later, Joaquin feels sick, walking into the biology classroom, beside Fangs. It gets even worse when he has to go to the front of the classroom, so the teacher can introduce him to the other students. Joaquin can feel Kevin's eyes on him.

Joaquin tries to look anywhere, but at Kevin, when the teacher speaks up: "This is Mr. DeSantos, he will be your new classmate. He used to attend Southside High but moved away for a while, now he is back and will attend Riverdale High. Can someone please show him around the school later on?"

Joaquin sees Fangs' hand shooting up into the air to indicate that he can show Joaquin around. He also sees Betty Cooper eying him worriedly, her gaze then switching over to where Kevin is sitting next to Moose. Joaquin finally gives in and follows her gaze. Kevin is staring at him incredulously, but when their eyes meet, he quickly looks away.

Joaquin should feel anxious, but somehow he is beyond that he thinks. He just feels empty. He is not welcome here, and he knows it. Just an intruder, an old memory that you wanted to forget.

The teacher speaks up again, apparently choosing to ignore Fangs offer: "Mr. Keller! Can you please show Mr. DeSantos around after class?"

And Joaquin suddenly feels something again, his heart almost beating out of his chest. And he hates himself for the first thought that crosses his mind: _"I can spend time with Kevin!"_ and the little glimmer of hope waking up once again. Joaquin hates all of this.

Kevin's eyes dart back to Joaquin, and he gulps, before answering: "Um, yes I can do that."

Joaquin walks over to Fangs' table and sits down next to him, feeling a bit dizzy. Fangs gives him an encouraging smile and pats his hand. Joaquin is thankful that his friend is there. He doesn't hear a single word the teacher is saying, his mind just circling around thoughts of Kevin. He dreads the end of class, but of course, it arrives faster than he wants it to.

He stays on his seat waiting until Kevin approaches him reluctantly, Moose trailing behind him, but Kevin stops the other boy, and Joaquin can hear Kevin whisper to Moose that he'll be ok and that Moose can leave. Moose shoots a death glare into Joaquin's direction but then leaves.

Joaquin lets out a breath. Ok no going back now. He gets up, as Kevin stops in front of him. Their eyes meet, and Joaquin isn't prepared for the surge of longing that hits him. All he wants to do is pull Kevin close, to take him into his arms and tell him that he is still so in love with him. But of course he can never do that, and so he just nods at Kevin in greeting, hoping that Kevin doesn't see how riled up Joaquin is.

"Um, hey. So let's just do this ok?" Kevin says, scratching his neck uncomfortably. And he starts walking towards the door, not waiting for Joaquin.

Joaquin gulps and follows Kevin quickly. They spent the next 20 minutes, walking around Riverdale High and it is really awkward.

Joaquin's heart is beating so wildly in his chest that he thinks Kevin can probably hear it. He feels so weak, being this close to Kevin again. He can smell Kevin's cologne. It's the same one he wore on the day they first met and kissed at the drive in. It makes Joaquin remember how soft Kevin's lips always felt against his.

He doesn't think he can do this anymore: Going to this school, seeing Kevin every day, but knowing that Kevin is still as far away as when Joaquin was in San Junipero.

Kevin won't even look at him, his gaze fixed to a point ahead of them at all times.

Joaquin doesn't realize what he is doing, it's too late to stop, the words already leaving his mouth: "I am so sorry!"

Kevin stops, and finally, he looks at Joaquin. And Joaquin notices that Kevin looks so sad too. "I am sorry too. It shouldn't have ended like that...but it's too late, Joaquin, sorry."

And that's it. Joaquin knows it. It's over. He has lost Kevin forever.

Maybe he should feel relieved, knowing for sure that he has no chance with Kevin anymore, knowing that he has to let go and move on. But all he feels is despair. He doesn't even remember the person he was before he met Kevin. How is he supposed to ever let go?

He somehow manages to nod at Kevin. And then Joaquin speaks up one last time, cause what does he have to lose: "I wish you the best Kevin, I really want you to be happy. I won't be in your way."

Kevin bites his lip and once again averts his gaze.

Joaquin turns around, knowing that it's best if he leaves now. He mutters a quiet "Thanks for showing me around" to Kevin and makes his way towards the exit.

Joaquin grabs his stuff from the trailer and leaves for the bus stop in a hurry, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone. He can't face this right now, doesn't want to see anyone, doesn't want to risk meeting someone who tries to convince him to stay. All he wants is to get away.

He spends another bus drive crying, but this time he knows that he'll never come back. He can't afford to look back anymore, he knows that he has to move on, or he will ruin himself.

He sends a text to Fangs, explaining everything. Fangs replies: _"Ok I understand. Call me tonight."_ And Joaquin smiles a sad smile. His friend knows him so well.

He moves back into another shady motel. He calls Fangs every night and they start once again to watch tv shows while talking on the phone. Joaquin never asks about Kevin, though he longs to do so. He forces himself to delete every picture, he has of Kevin, and in the end, he even manages to delete Kevin's number.

*

Five years pass, and Joaquin has established a new life in San Junipero. He has a little room now and works in a coffee shop. He even made some new friends. There is a boy, who Joaquin meets in a bar, who kisses Joaquin and asks him on a date. Joaquin gives him a try, but after the second date, he knows that it wouldn't work out. It doesn't feel right. He has a few hookups with some random guys, but his heart is never in it, and he never calls them back, when they try to contact him afterward.

His coworker and best friend, Maria, tries to set him up with someone a few times, but he always just laughs it off. One day she asks him, why he doesn't look for love and he tells her, that there was a boy once and no one else can compare to that boy, so it doesn't make sense to Joaquin to be with someone new. Maybe later.

He still texts and calls Fangs, but not that often anymore. They speak once or twice a week, and it's nice to hear what the Serpents are up to. Fangs even visits Joaquin from time to time, and they always have a good time.

It's summer, and Joaquin is in the back of the coffee shop, collecting milk from the fridge when Maria comes to look for him: "There's a guy out there asking for you. He's really cute by the way."

Joaquin doesn't know what she's talking about. "Why would a customer ask for me?"

"Oh, I don't think he's a customer. He came up to the counter and asked if a Joaquin DeSantos is working here. Maybe some guy you met somewhere, and you told him you work in a coffee shop?"

Joaquin still doesn't know what's going on, but he goes to the counter, to look and stops in his tracks, when he sees Kevin standing there, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

"Preppy?"

Kevin looks so good with his perfect hair and his cute preppy clothes. Joaquin's heart beats like crazy, and he moves towards Kevin as on autopilot, drawn closer to him instinctively, but still not comprehending what this means.

"Joaquin, thank God I found you!"

"You were looking for me?"

"Yes, I asked Fangs for your number, but he wouldn't give it to me. But he said that you live in San Junipero and work in a coffee shop. So I came here and looked for you in every coffee shop I could find."

"But why?"

"I...can we maybe talk somewhere in private? When is your shift over?"

Maria comes up to Joaquin and tells him that she'll be ok on her own, that he should leave, and he does so gladly. They go for a walk in the nearby park, and Kevin tells him everything:

How Joaquin was still on his mind after he left. How Kevin broke up with Moose after only three months, because Moose and he apparently had different opinions about what a loving relationship should be like. How Kevin dated a few new guys but never was able to settle down with any of them. How it seemed as if they were all just second best after Joaquin.

And he starts to cry when he's telling Joaquin that his mom died a month ago and that ever since when, he missed Joaquin so bad, that he couldn't take it anymore and asked Fangs to tell him where Joaquin was.

But Fangs being a really loyal friend, refused to help Kevin because he wanted Joaquin to finally be free and move on. On the other hand, he didn't want to get in the way, if there was a chance that Kevin was really serious about wanting Joaquin back and so he gave Kevin just the basics, a few tiny hints, waiting for Kevin to figure it out himself if he really wanted to. And so Kevin did.

Joaquin pulls Kevin into a tight hug, and tells him how sorry he is about Kevin's mom and wishing that he could have been there for Kevin when it happened. It feels amazing just to hold Kevin again, to breath in his smell, to feel the warmth radiating from his body.

They talk some more, and it is incredible how easy it is to be around Kevin as if he never was away. Joaquin feels lighter than he did in years and he allows himself to hope again.

Kevin is staying in a motel on the other side of town, and they decide to meet again tomorrow.

They spent the next two days together. Kevin is drinking too much coffee during Joaquin's shift, sitting in a corner booth of the coffee shop, pretending to read a book, but really just watching Joaquin all the time. And Joaquin gets several orders wrong because he can't stop thinking about Kevin and look over to him dreamily. When Joaquin finally gets off work he shows Kevin around town. They talk about everything that has happened in the past, and they both apologize for so many things that happened back then.

Kevin has to leave again, go back to Riverdale, and Joaquin accompanies him to the bus station. They smile at each other and hug, and neither seems to want to let go. It has been over five years and two days can't make up for that. They both want to have more time together.

Joaquin pulls away slightly, looking up into Kevin's eyes, seeing the tears gathering there, and he knows that he looks just the same right now. Joaquin's gaze wanders to Kevin's lips, something he always found himself doing back all those years ago.

They both lean in simultaneously for a slow kiss. And Joaquin knows exactly why it never worked out with that guy he tried to date. He has been waiting for this, for Kevin. And nothing he could ever have with someone else could compare even slightly to what he had with Kevin. Just a soft brush of lips with Kevin is worth more than going all the way with someone else.

They part after a few seconds, looking at each other with big yes. But both lean in again for another kiss after that, and Joaquin is delighted to feel Kevin's hand in his hair, pulling him even closer.

Kevin promises to text Joaquin during the whole drive, and he keeps his word.

Joaquin goes back to work the next day, smiling like an idiot whenever his phone buzzes, knowing full well that it is another text from Kevin or another picture. His colleagues all remark on how happy he looks and ask him who is responsible for that and that Joaquin better make sure to hold on to that person. Joaquin just smiles. But he tells Maria about Kevin, and she hugs him and tells him that she is very happy for Joaquin.

Joaquin and Kevin talk every night on the phone before it's time to go to bed and Joaquin falls asleep with a smile on his face and dreams about Kevin.

A week later Joaquin drives to Riverdale over the weekend to visit Kevin.

Being back in Riverdale feels right this time. Kevin even arranged a meeting with all of Joaquin's old friends at Pop's, and it's so lovely to see them again. But what Joaquin treasures even more are the hours he gets to spend alone with Kevin.

They kiss some more, and when they walk next to each other, Joaquin just grabs Kevin's hand, because it's the natural thing to do. To everyone passing them by they look like boyfriends, and Joaquin knows that he definitely wants them to be just that again.

When Sunday evening arrives, and Joaquin has to get on his bus again, they both don't want to part. And Joaquin has to promise Kevin that he will spend the next weekend in Riverdale too. The bus driver has to tell them three times to finally stop kissing and for Joaquin to get on the bus.

And Joaquin keeps his promise of course and returns to Riverdale only a few days later. On this second weekend, they officially get back together.

Joaquin decides to be completely honest with Kevin and tells him, that he never stopped loving Kevin. He feels like his heart will explode when Kevin says "I love you, too." They both can't believe their luck.

Joaquin leaves again on Sunday and returns to his room in San Junipero late at night, tired from the long drive, plopping down on the bed, that he has grown to like over the last years. But all of a sudden he knows, that this place isn't his home any longer.

And on the next day, he quits work and calls Maria to tell her, that he will move back to Riverdale because he and Kevin have found a way to be together again and that this is all Joaquin ever wished for. She is happy for him, understanding now finally, why he never wanted to date other guys.

Joaquin sends Kevin a text: _"I am coming home, Preppy. Please make some room in your closet for my things."_

He breaks out into a huge grin when he reads Kevin's reply: _"To be honest, I already did. I was hoping you would say that! When can I pick you up at the bus stop?"_

Joaquin packs the few belongings he wants to take with him, returns the key for his room to the nice old woman, who had let him live here for the past years and makes his way to the bus stop, smiling all the time.

And he knows that what he said to Kevin is the truth: He is coming home. To Riverdale, the town he was born in and grew up in, the place where his friends and family, The Serpents, lived.

But most of all he is coming home to Kevin, the boy he fell in love with years ago, and the man he loves even more today.


End file.
